My Neville GoddardMy SP broke up with me in February, but even in the moment as he broke up with me I told myself "I can manifest this back". Even though we broke up, a little after we would meet at his house and hang out and be intimate.
We stopped hanging around May after he had his competition that I attended. From there I would text him once in a while to just check in on him. Around three weeks ago a friend of his told me that SP told his friends he blocked me.
I was confused because I couldn't tell if he blocked my number, but he had unfollowed my Instagram, hadn't blocked me though. His birthday was in a couple of days and on his birthday I still decided to send a text and celebrate him. I wrote a loving message, and a day later he responded to me! Turns out I actually wasn't blocked by him, he told his friends I was blocked for whatever reason.
However, around two weeks ago he actually blocked my Instagram, I was devastated but just regulated my nervous system and went back into the state. Now, I've seen him at the gym lately talking to this one girl, and it hurts. My old identity interprets this as "he likes her, they like each other". But they're literally just talking! My old identity is blowing it out the water.
He still waves at me in the gym but that's it. However yesterday he was talking A LOT to the girl, and they ended up walking and talking in the turf area. I shouldn't have done this but I went to the same area and listened to their conversation, and they weren't flirting or anything. I decided this isn't good for me and I left to my car.
I called my friend to calm me down, and then I see SP and the girl walk out the gym together still talking, the girl's car was parked next to mine so they stood near my car talking.
I tried to hear what they were saying but it was muffled, I heard my SP say "Yeah I thought they close at 11..." and immediately I thought "are they trying to meet up somewhere tonight and hangout?"
They said bye, the girl got in her car, my SP drove by her car, slowed down, and I watched the girl smile and wave. I was so infuriated and honestly spiraled a bit.
I became triggered, and my friend stayed on the phone as I talked through my emotions. I keep telling myself the 3D is my old assumptions clearing out, and that anxious/intrusive thoughts, old beliefs, and the 3D has no power over me.
But I still keep getting flashbacks of yesterday and my mind is making unfavorable mental images of them being together. I let these thoughts pass without judgement or giving a reaction, and just say "This is not my truth, not my reality". But the thoughts keep coming back!!
Last night I did yoga then slept, and I dreamt of my SP in the gym at first just waving to me, then he comes up to me and kisses me, saying sweet things to me. I woke up surprised but feeling pretty good. But the anxious thoughts are coming back.
I honestly feel a little defeated, and not fully convinced that I can manifest this. Right now I don't feel like a powerful manifester. I know I shouldn't think this, because the version of me who's married to SP wouldn't feel defeated or insecure about my conviction.
I keep saying "if I woke up tomorrow knowing SP would be back, how would I be acting and living and speaking to myself?" And I'm embodying it but still feel a tight chest coming in waves and sadness.
I'm also confused why this is manifesting because the day before I felt really good and in the state, but the next day he's talking to her again!
When SP blocked my Instagram I actually viewed it as movement, as the 3D purging old beliefs and rebuilding the foundation. But I don't know how to interpret these interactions with the girl. Is it a negative manifestation or is this movement towards the bridge? Or the Universe testing me?
Advice and words of empowerment would be appreciated :( Thank you for reading all of this.
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3 comments
Not really advice, but do you remember when Abdullah was like, 'Dude, you're in Barbados *right now*' and slammed the door in Neville's face? You're back together with your SP, so of course they weren't flirting! It sucks when other people have a crush on your man, but obviously you're already with him, so... she's out of luck. He probably just blocked your Insta because he kept distracting himself at work by looking at your photos and told himself that he needed to get his head straight before he got reprimanded, yeah?
I do remember! I'm choosing to not see this girl having a crush on him, and see them as friends. What do you think of that? I also agree that he blocked me cause he couldn't stop checking my page. I also have the idea that if someone blocks you, they're serious about you! If they didn't care about you, they wouldn't care to block you. But him blocking me is movement in my eyes, because I'm on his mind so much he had to block me. But I know he'll unblock me when he's ready to reach out. Thank you :)
hey i know this was a week ago but something that helps me when im manifesting and seeing unfavourable circumstances happening in the 3D is telling myself the universe is testing me to see if im ready for my manifestation to come in. the universe is checking if my self concept has changed, so if it throws in something that is opposite to my manifestation, how will i react? like i would in the past or how my new self concept would. it really helps to regulate your nervous system. you can see it as a test for yourself and it helps you grow even more. i also tell myself that seeing more opposites before my manifestation arrives means it’s coming quickly. keep pushing through, keep your self concept strong and remember the ending. it’s easier to say than done but do not let any of the present circumstances matter, it is just a test!! he is your husband, he is your person, he is obsessed with you, and he is all yours!!