Need help stuck in sp manifestation

Over 5y passed now in sp manifestation, we used to date, l did all thinkable techniques, even experienced Sabbath. 2y no contact, then he found me on facebook, writes me 2-3times every y, does not want to see me but wants casual, as he says too afraid to meet me as he will lose control. I need help, lm loosing faith and life passes, lm 50 now and he is almost 60. We r running in circles. I cant date others it diesel not work as l only love him. Please help lm so frustrated🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼